"Modesty is more than just the length of a hemline. It's about our conversations, how we treat people, and how we love others. Modesty protects our purity and the mystery of a person. In our society, it gets a bad rap. It's actually quite attractive."
Model - Leah Darrow
There is nothing more modest and beautiful than a woman acting like a woman, soft, feminine, frail, loving, kind, graceful, pure, but at the same time strong to the core. I have been thinking about modesty a lot lately and how much deeper it goes then just what we wear.
God highly values the quality of modesty. Women are explicitly commanded to dress and conduct themselves in modest ways (1 Timothy 2:9-10), and this quality should not be lost upon men, either. Unfortunately, the meaning and requirements of modesty have become contentious topics, especially since our society has all but abandoned modesty as a virtue. In fact this day and age we tend to scorn modesty.
It has been fashionable among many religious commentators to speak of modesty in terms of standards of clothing. In this perspective, modesty is defined as "that which is not immodest," and the focus is on defining immodest clothing.
Yet such a perspective is really putting the cart before the horse. Modesty is not exclusively about clothing-- instead, it is an attitude, a frame of mind, and a form of behavior. Modesty involves having a proper understanding of one's position in life-- someone who does not act arrogantly or presumptuously. In this sense humility and modesty are quite similar and intertwined. Modesty also involves a strong sense of propriety and restraint. Modesty demands moderation in thought and behavior. For all intents and purposes, modesty can be understood as the quality of not attempting to stand out-- someone who is not obtrusive, not demanding attention by their conduct or comportment.
When we consider what Paul says in 1 Timothy 2:9-10 (and Peter in 1 Peter 3:3-6), we can see that it is this more comprehensive understanding of modesty that is advocated. The focus of a woman's presentation, according to these Apostles, is not to be only in how they adorn themselves physically.But also, to focus on how on their service to God-- their good works and humble demeanor.
None of this is to say that modesty has nothing to do with clothing-- far from it. But modesty is not equated with a certain level of clothing, for people can be modestly clothed while conducting themselves very immodestly. As with many elements of Christianity, modesty must be an internal quality that in manifested externally ( Mark 7:14-23, ). The woman (or man) who seeks to be truly modest will consider the clothing they wear and will make sure that it does not draw attention to themselves, either by exposing too much skin or by being overly ornate. They will make sure that it follows what the Bible says about the clothing of a woman ( or man) and not just what the have heard from pastors or Christian leaders. The godly man or woman is not attempting to draw the attention of other people for immoral purposes-- instead, they are trying to humbly serve their God in attitude and action!
Modesty, therefore, is quite the challenge for humans. It would be far easier if modesty only involved wearing a certain type of clothing! Instead, if we would be modest, we must not attempt to stand out in any circumstance. We do not go out with the attempt to be noticed for whatever reason, "godly" or otherwise, and we must not think too highly of ourselves ( Matthew 6:1-5, Mark 12:38-40, Galatians 6:1-4). Instead, we go out with the humble attitudes of servants (Luke 17:7-10). We still strive to be godly and to be the lights of the world, but it is not our goal to do so to be noticed (Matthew 5:13-16). We seek the commendation of God, and God only exalts those who humble themselves and serve (Matthew 20:25-28, 23:12).
To limit discussions of modesty to how much a particular garment covers the human body is to really miss God's purposes in advocating modesty for Christians. Modesty is about Mindset, attitude, and behavior. When we have developed modesty in our estimation of ourselves and how we conduct ourselves among other people, we will make sure that our clothing appropriately covers our body without excess in ornamentation so as to not draw attention to ourselves (1 Timothy 2:9-10). We will also strive to be modest in how we conduct ourselves among other people, not attempting to draw attention by sanctimonious behavior or in any way putting on a show of righteousness to be seen as righteous ( Matthew 6:1-5). We will go about serving God according to the gifts He has given us, seeking God's glory and not our own (Romans 12:3-8, 1 Peter 4:7-11). We will strive to be meek and gentle as our Lord and Savior (Matthew 11:28-30). In so doing, we will be better known for our character than our appearance, and we will have the prized internal beauty of the humble, modest servants of God. Let us not only dress modestly but conduct ourselves with modesty!
I think the bottom line of it all is that if you have inward modesty and femininity of the heart it will show outwardly. For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
First thing is to pray and ask Godto show and convict you of any immodesty of the heart. The Scriptures calls us to be pure of heart for they shall see God (Matthew 5:8 What do my clothes say about desires? Do they show I am a wholesome or loose woman?
The Scriptures tell me my heart is deceitfully wickedly…. Am I following my heart’s intentions when I put on clothes?
Do my clothes reflect Scriptural principles spoken of in 1 Timothy 2:9″ Likewise, the women, when they pray, should be dressed modestly and sensibly in respectable attire, not with elaborate hairstyles and gold jewelry, or pearls, or expensive clothes” or do they reflect indoctrination of religion and the culture I live in?
Do my clothes reflect rebellion of the heart?
Am I set apart from the world in my choice of clothes or do I relate with the crowd?
Does my appearance reveal a zeal to seek and please God or do they reveal that God and his standards comes after my comfort and lifestyle?
If I were standing in a crowd of worldly people would I feel embarrassed because I am dressing femininely modest?
If I were standing in a crowd of worldly people would I stand out or blend in?
These questions here also helped me with looking at my intentions in wearing jewlrey and make up and help me decide that they were not for me. The following questions are about clothes directly.
When I bend down or over does can anyone see right down my shirt? Can I use a safety pin on the inside? Should I have a cami underneath? Or is it indecent for anyone and should be thrown out all together?
If I wear a button-up shirt can you see anything from the side in between the buttons? Is it too tight that I need to throw it out?
If I put on a spaghetti-strap, tanktop, halter, or sheer blouse can I…. Uh, nothing can help with this. Throw out the halter and sheer blouse. Most of the time you should be able to wear the sleeveless shirts as undershirts but should not be worn by themselves as they expose too much skin.
Can I see the lining of my bra through my shirt or by my collar?
Can I see any part of my midriff when I raise my hands or bend over?
Can you see any part of my cleavage, bending or not?
Is my shirt just plain too tight? Does it tuck under or hug my bust? Do the buttons on the front scrunch to give the affect of a tight shirt around my bust? I try to remember My shirts should be tight enough to show you’re a woman, but loose enough to show you're a lady
Does my midriff show when I move or bend over? Can I find a longer undershirt to wear? No one can help to look when either your backside or underwear shows when you bend over. Don't embarrass yourself by wearing something that you may forget to “watch”.
Does my skirt fit too low on my waist and is causing my shirts to expose my skin?
Can I see my underwear lines through my skirt? Does it draw attention to my backside?
Is my skirt too short? When I sit can someone see above my knees? That is too much skin. Change into something longer. You may be able to add a ruffle or another layer to that skirt later if its appropriate. Always remember to cross one leg under the other if you're a lady.
Always make sure to wear a slip. This will prevent anyone from seeing through your skirt, helps keep your skirt from flyways, protects you if you have any, and is useful in other ways. I actually don't wear a slip with my longer denim and corduroy skirts.
Is my skirt too flamboyant? Does it jingle, sway, or draw too much attention to me? The Scriptures says to be shamefaced (overly modest and shy) as to not draw attention to ourselves in such a way. When we draw attention to ourselves it should be Jesus light and example.
Personally I don’t swim often swim in public and when I do I wear a skirt with shorts underneath and a tshirt. When you buy or put on a swimsuit make sure that you do the modesty check above. Make sure it doesn’t go above the knees, isn’t too tight, and doesn’t reveal any flesh. If you’re truly concerned about modesty it shouldn’t just be for clothes, but swimsuits, pajamas, exercise clothes, etc. You shouldn’t have double standards for these items. Before I started reading the Scriptures and finding answers there I couldn't understand why people would worry about clothing I thought they were just being legalistic and old fashioned. I was not concerned with displaying displaying modesty and femininity outwardly and had bought into the feministic lie that if a man had lustful thoughts about me that was his heart issue not mine. It truly is freeing when you let go and let God be in charge of you life. You won’t be ashamed of who you are and he will shine through you.
Below are some links that I use:
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