Modesty

‎"Modesty is more than just the length of a hemline. It's about our conversations, how we treat people, and how we love others. Modesty protects our purity and the mystery of a person. In our society, it gets a bad rap. It's actually quite attractive." Model - Leah Darrow There is nothing more modest and beautiful than a woman acting like a woman, soft, feminine, frail, loving, kind, graceful, pure, but at the same time strong to the core. I have been thinking about modesty a lot lately and how much deeper it goes then just what we wear.  God highly values the quality of modesty. Women are explicitly commanded to dress and conduct themselves in modest ways (1 Timothy 2:9-10), and this quality should not be lost upon men, either. Unfortunately, the meaning and requirements of modesty have become contentious topics, especially since our society has all but abandoned modesty as a virtue. In fact this day and age we tend to scorn modesty. It has been fashionable among many religious commentators to speak of modesty in terms of standards of clothing. In this perspective, modesty is defined as "that which is not immodest," and the focus is on defining immodest clothing. Yet such a perspective is really putting the cart before the horse. Modesty is not exclusively about clothing-- instead, it is an attitude, a frame of mind, and a form of behavior. Modesty involves having a proper understanding of one's position in life-- someone who does not act arrogantly or presumptuously. In this sense humility and modesty are quite similar and intertwined. Modesty also involves a strong sense of propriety and restraint. Modesty demands moderation in thought and behavior. For all intents and purposes, modesty can be understood as the quality of not attempting to stand out-- someone who is not obtrusive, not demanding attention by their conduct or comportment. When we consider what Paul says in 1 Timothy 2:9-10 (and Peter in 1 Peter 3:3-6), we can see that it is this more comprehensive understanding of modesty that is advocated. The focus of a woman's presentation, according to these Apostles, is not to be only in how they adorn themselves physically.But also, to focus on how on their service to God-- their good works and humble demeanor.  None of this is to say that modesty has nothing to do with clothing-- far from it. But modesty is not equated with a certain level of clothing, for people can be modestly clothed while conducting themselves very  immodestly. As with many elements of Christianity, modesty must be an internal quality that in manifested externally ( Mark 7:14-23, ). The woman (or man) who seeks to be truly modest will consider the clothing they wear and will make sure that it does not draw attention to themselves, either by exposing too much skin or by being overly ornate. They will make sure that it follows what the Bible says about the clothing of a woman ( or man) and not just what the have heard from pastors or Christian leaders. The godly man or woman is not attempting to draw the attention of other people for immoral purposes-- instead, they are trying to humbly serve their God in attitude and action! Modesty, therefore, is quite the challenge for humans. It would be far easier if modesty only involved wearing a certain type of clothing! Instead, if we would be modest, we must not attempt to stand out in any circumstance. We do not go out with the attempt to be noticed for whatever reason, "godly" or otherwise, and we must not think too highly of ourselves ( Matthew 6:1-5, Mark 12:38-40, Galatians 6:1-4). Instead, we go out with the humble attitudes of servants (Luke 17:7-10). We still strive to be godly and to be the lights of the world, but it is not our goal to do so to be noticed (Matthew 5:13-16). We seek the commendation of God, and God only exalts those who humble themselves and serve (Matthew 20:25-28, 23:12). To limit discussions of modesty to how much a particular garment covers the human body is to really miss God's purposes in advocating modesty for Christians. Modesty is about Mindset, attitude, and behavior. When we have developed modesty in our estimation of ourselves and how we conduct ourselves among other people, we will make sure that our clothing appropriately covers our body without excess in ornamentation so as to not draw attention to ourselves (1 Timothy 2:9-10). We will also strive to be modest in how we conduct ourselves among other people, not attempting to draw attention by sanctimonious behavior or in any way putting on a show of righteousness to be seen as righteous ( Matthew 6:1-5). We will go about serving God according to the gifts He has given us, seeking God's glory and not our own (Romans 12:3-8, 1 Peter 4:7-11). We will strive to be meek and gentle as our Lord and Savior (Matthew 11:28-30). In so doing, we will be better known for our character than our appearance, and we will have the prized internal beauty of the humble, modest servants of God. Let us not only dress modestly but conduct ourselves with modesty!   I think the bottom line of it all is that if you have inward modesty and femininity of the heart it will show outwardly. For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. First thing is to pray and ask Godto show and convict you of any immodesty of the heart. The Scriptures calls us to be pure of heart for they shall see God (Matthew 5:8 What do my clothes say about desires? Do they show I am a wholesome or loose woman? The Scriptures tell me my heart is deceitfully wickedly…. Am I following my heart’s intentions when I put on clothes? Do my clothes reflect Scriptural principles spoken of in 1 Timothy 2:9″ Likewise, the women, when they pray, should be dressed modestly and sensibly in respectable attire, not with elaborate hairstyles and gold jewelry, or pearls, or expensive clothes” or do they reflect indoctrination of religion and the culture I live in? Do my clothes reflect rebellion of the heart? Am I set apart from the world in my choice of clothes or do I relate with the crowd? Does my appearance reveal a zeal to seek and please God or do they reveal that God and his standards comes after my comfort and lifestyle? If I were standing in a crowd of worldly people would I feel embarrassed because I am dressing femininely modest? If I were standing in a crowd of worldly people would I stand out or blend in? These questions here also helped me with looking at my intentions in wearing jewlrey and make up and help me decide that they were not for me. The following questions are about  clothes directly.     When I bend down or over does can anyone see right down my shirt? Can I use a safety pin on the inside? Should I have a cami underneath? Or is it indecent for anyone and should be thrown out all together? If I wear a button-up shirt can you see anything from the side in between the buttons? Is it too tight that I need to throw it out? If I put on a spaghetti-strap, tanktop, halter, or sheer blouse can I…. Uh, nothing can help with this. Throw out the halter and sheer blouse. Most of the time you should be able to wear the sleeveless shirts as undershirts but should not be worn by themselves as they expose too much skin. Can I see the lining of my bra through my shirt or by my collar? Can I see any part of my midriff when I raise my hands or bend over? Can you see any part of my cleavage, bending or not? Is my shirt just plain too tight? Does it tuck under or hug my bust? Do the buttons on the front scrunch to give the affect of a tight shirt around my bust? I try to remember  My shirts should be tight enough to show you’re a woman, but loose enough to show you're a lady Does my midriff show when I move or bend over? Can I find a longer undershirt to wear? No one can help to look when either your backside or underwear shows when you bend over. Don't embarrass yourself by wearing something that you may forget to “watch”. Does my skirt fit too low on my waist and is causing my shirts to expose my skin? Can I see my underwear lines through my skirt? Does it draw attention to my backside? Is my skirt too short? When I sit can someone see above my knees? That is too much skin. Change into something longer. You may be able to add a ruffle or another layer to that skirt later if its appropriate. Always remember to cross one leg under the other if you're a lady. Always make sure to wear a slip. This will prevent anyone from seeing through your skirt, helps keep your skirt from flyways, protects you if you have any, and is useful in other ways. I actually don't wear a slip with my longer denim and corduroy skirts. Is my skirt too flamboyant? Does it jingle, sway, or draw too much attention to me? The Scriptures says to be shamefaced (overly modest and shy) as to not draw attention to ourselves in such a way. When we draw attention to ourselves it should be Jesus light and example.  Personally I don’t swim often swim in public  and when I do I wear a skirt with shorts underneath and a tshirt. When you buy or put on a swimsuit make sure that you do the modesty check above. Make sure it doesn’t go above the knees, isn’t too tight, and doesn’t reveal any flesh. If you’re truly concerned about modesty it shouldn’t just be for clothes, but swimsuits, pajamas, exercise clothes, etc. You shouldn’t have double standards for these items. Before I started reading the Scriptures and finding answers there I couldn't understand why people would worry about clothing I thought they were just being legalistic and old fashioned.  I was not concerned with displaying displaying modesty and femininity outwardly and had bought into the feministic lie that if a man had lustful thoughts about me that was his heart issue not mine.  It truly is freeing when you let go and let God be in charge of you life. You won’t be ashamed of who you are and he will shine through you. Below are some links that I use: http://www.movingtowardmodesty.com/Principles.html http://www.achristianhome.org/ModestFeminine/ModestyFeminineAttireIndex.htm http://www.psychoheresy-aware.org/modesty_ignored.html http://www.momof9splace.com/modesty.html http://www.dressingforhisglory.com/store/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=58_82_59

Household Notebook

Ok here's thee rough draft of my notebook for 2011.  I will try to narrate as I go along feel free to ask any questions.  I will also try to give links to blogs or other websites whose materials I used when creating my notebook.  I also have a notebook for each of my boys and will try to get that up later.

Here is the front cover.  
I like things to be functional and pretty.

I bought the basic lay out for my notebook from fruit of her hands.  I love this blog she has some great ideas on lot's of different things.

This is the first page inside of the folder.

Inside of that are some Bible studies I enjoy.

Which I can share if you would like. I also have Proverbs 31 printed out and placed there and my prayer journal.

Next is my personal goals.

Just some thing I use every year to set goals for myself in the next year.  Again, I will share these if someone is interested. These include spiritual goals, health goals, family goals financial goals and any thing else that I have as a goal.  I very strongly believe that if you don't have a vision for your life then you have nothing to work towards.

Next is schedule

In this I have my Daily schedule

I can share a little more about what's on it if someone wants it. It is broken out into morning and early afternoon and then late afternoon and evening.  This helps me to know when things should be done by.

After this I list cleaning and the things that happen daily,weekly,monthly

As you can see I have it broken into days Monday-Saturday. Then each day lists the specific things that need to be done on that day.  I also include 20 minutes of working on a project of some kind.

I also list projects that I want to get done.

Next is the chore list, so that you know what needs to be done daily, weekly and monthly.  It also is a great for helping the boys know what the room should look like when it's clean.  This way IO don't have to remind them what it looks like every day but they know I just expect these things done when this is your room for the week.

Next I have menu Planning

I try to plan from Saturday to Saturday making sure to look at the sales that come out then planning the next weeks menus based upon what's on sale.

Then I list emergency number.

This includes Dr's numbers, relatives, our fire escape plan,poison control.

Basically I try to include anything that could possible be needed here.

Next is important numbers.

These include all insurance numbers, numbers for all electric,water and gas companies.  I also include health insurance numbers.

Then Financial

In here is a calendar of when Bills are do.  I also have a folder for receipts and one for the current bill.

Next Projects,  This could be anything from pictures of swing projects to detailed list of things I want to get done

Then I have a gift giving section.  If someone mentions something they would like I tend to write it down so I don't forget.  No picture for this one but it looks like the ones above but says gift giving.

 Then it's my calendar where I write down all of my appointments and such.  I also keep track of sports practices and game dates.

The last one is my home school section.  It grows throughout the year.  Right now all that is in it is the next weeks overview for each boy.

It allows me a quick look at what they are doing each day and whether or not they have a live lesson and at what time.  

You can follow my life here.

http://coloradoblessed.blogspot.com/

Groups I belong to

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BiblicallySubmissivehousewives/

Home schooling

I never thought I would be "that" mom, you know the one.  The one who monitors what her kids eat, what they read, who their friends are, what kind of music they listen to or what they watch on T.V.  Keep an eye on yes but closely monitor NO!!!!

Yet here I am being "that" mom, I slowly began to find that I cared greatly about what they watch who their friends are and all those other things.  I didn't like the things I began to see in t5hem or the behaviors they were having.  I began to spend a lot of time in prayer over me boys and one of the first things God showed me was that I was allowing these things into their lives.  Boy, was that convicting, I began to feel like I was failing them, so I threw myself a little pity party and then I got over it.  I started to pay attention to what kind of music they were listening to, what they were watching  and who they were spending their time with.  As I began to curtail it a bit I began to realize that the number one area I had very little say or control in was school.  I started looking at the curriculum and talking to the teachers.  I quickly realized that most of the teachers didn't seem concerned about my thoughts on what they were teaching my boys.

So this year I am homeschooling IU have become "that" mom.

Home Making Journal

I have one but have not used it in awhile.  I decided to pull it back out and update it.  The task of updating one and finding a way to make one that I will actually use and that will keep me organized seems monumental.  I thought that if this is how it feels to me then a lot of other women must feel the same way.  So I've decided to share my journey in finding the system that works for me.  I have tried flylady and though it has some great ideas it was to regimented and seemed out of touch with my life.  I have also tried to organized home and those did not work for me either as they were not detailed enough.  I know some ladies who subscribe to one or the other and am happy they work for them.  So today I begin my journey.
I have been giving some thought to the sections I would like in my Journal.  Here are lists of the ones I have come up with and a brief description:

 Schedules & Routines

A master family calendar - school schedules, work schedules, activity schedules; daily routines – morning, afternoon, evening; weekly, monthly, seasonal, annual tasks and housekeeping chores. Basically anything based on time goes here. It is the core of the Panel and will be an active section, in that it will be used and referenced daily.

Goals, Plans & Projects

Long term goals (anything requiring more than a single entry on a task list) and projects large and small will be laid out here. I tend to have a hard time setting specific goals.  I am much better at bigger more general things like I want to go visit Italy but never lining out the steps that will need to happen for me to get there, hopefully this will help with that section.

Family & Inventories

This is kind of a catch-all for general information about other people in your life as well as various databases of property or knowledge. If you were in a bookstore and wanted to know if you’d already purchased #4 of a series, you would check here. A complete home inventory is a good idea for insurance purposes. Keeping track of children’s and spouse’s sizes aid in shopping for clothes, as will an inventory of their existing wardrobe. Also helpful is a list of books or movies that you want to see but haven’t gotten around to. Aren’t we all too likely to forget what it was that so-and-so recommended when we’re actually standing in the video store? An index to household storage is often handy as well. Family medical notes and records would also belong here unless they were extensive for some reason.  Now tis one sounds good but also is one that intimidates me the most.  It sounds like a lot of work but if I can slowly build it up over time and not do it all at once then I should be able master this.

Finances

From your checkbook balance to an investment portfolio to last year’s tax return, everyone has financial records to organize. Monetary goals can also be outlined here, with a savings or debt reduction plan to achieve them. Receipts, warranties, owner manuals should all be kept together and in an accessible manner.

Food Preparation

A portion of my journal will deal with food – recipes, menu plans, pantry and grocery guides, a price book, coupon storage, and anything else to do with food and its storage and preparation in our homes.

Hobbies

Scrapbooks, needlepoint, gardening, music, writing, the list is endless. If there’s something in your life you do for fun, chances are there is something about it you need to plan, organize, or store. I’d probably also put decorating ideas here, but they could also go in Projects or if you’re embarking on a full-scale renovation they could even have their own section.  This would be fun though I don't have a lot of time for hobbies but I do hope to take up sewing and knitting this year.

School, Work, Organizations

This is where we will diverge probably more than in any other section. Some work for an outside company, some work from home, some don’t work (yeah, like this isn’t work! Lol), some go to school, some teach school, some homeschool, some have kids in school, some are members of volunteer or recreational organizations or sit on a board of directors somewhere. If there’s anything you belong to, outside responsibilities you juggle, this is the place to ground it.

Spiritual

Anything I consider spiritual or renewing can be covered here, whether formal prayer logs or musings on nature or anything in between. 

Life unexpected 

It contains sensitive information such as passwords, account numbers, utility and credit information, bank and other account information – more than would be found in the day to day finances. I like to think of it as a place to write down all the things that I normally keep in my head – things *I* don’t have to look up to function daily, but if my husband had to, say, transfer money between accounts he’d have to find. Due to all info in this one I will probably not be keeping it with the rest of the information.