Afraid To Be Happy

I know that title sounds funny but that's really what I wanted to talk about for a minute.  Last night I was laying in bed talking to JD.  We were having one of the discussions that can come after a rough period in life.  You know the type where you just talking about all that you faced and all that you came through.  For us it had started almost 2 years before when things just got crazy and wild and went went from outside problems to what I refer to as inside problems.  We allowed what was happening in the "outside" world (anything outside our marriage)  to affect our "inside" world (Our marriage).  There were times over the last few months when we both doubted if we would do this I think it was just our belief in a covenant marriage, some folks who wouldn't allow us to walk away and God's amazing never-ending unfailing GRACE  that have helped us to where we are today (in love).

During our conversation last night I started to tear up and realized that I was scared.  Things are going great.  I love my family, my job, my church.  I was just waiting for the next crisis.  I realized that since childhood I have never had a long period of time where there is just calm and peace in my life and now that it is happening I didn't know what to think or how to handle it.  I had been so convinced that I did not deserve happiness that I had bought into that and at times even sacrificed my happiness and self-fulfilled the prophecy.

As that all rushed in on me last night, I just paused and praise Jesus for this revelation!  I am a daughter of the King a princess in His court, my adoption into Gods family means that I do get to be happy and not just when things are going well but when things are rough too.  I don't have to live in fear of the next bad thing that is going to happen but to trust in God and allow him to lead my steps.  I can have peace and joy no matter what.  I am no longer afraid to be happy!

Home schooling

I never thought I would be "that" mom, you know the one.  The one who monitors what her kids eat, what they read, who their friends are, what kind of music they listen to or what they watch on T.V.  Keep an eye on yes but closely monitor NO!!!!

Yet here I am being "that" mom, I slowly began to find that I cared greatly about what they watch who their friends are and all those other things.  I didn't like the things I began to see in t5hem or the behaviors they were having.  I began to spend a lot of time in prayer over me boys and one of the first things God showed me was that I was allowing these things into their lives.  Boy, was that convicting, I began to feel like I was failing them, so I threw myself a little pity party and then I got over it.  I started to pay attention to what kind of music they were listening to, what they were watching  and who they were spending their time with.  As I began to curtail it a bit I began to realize that the number one area I had very little say or control in was school.  I started looking at the curriculum and talking to the teachers.  I quickly realized that most of the teachers didn't seem concerned about my thoughts on what they were teaching my boys.

So this year I am homeschooling IU have become "that" mom.

Home Making Journal

I have one but have not used it in awhile.  I decided to pull it back out and update it.  The task of updating one and finding a way to make one that I will actually use and that will keep me organized seems monumental.  I thought that if this is how it feels to me then a lot of other women must feel the same way.  So I've decided to share my journey in finding the system that works for me.  I have tried flylady and though it has some great ideas it was to regimented and seemed out of touch with my life.  I have also tried to organized home and those did not work for me either as they were not detailed enough.  I know some ladies who subscribe to one or the other and am happy they work for them.  So today I begin my journey.
I have been giving some thought to the sections I would like in my Journal.  Here are lists of the ones I have come up with and a brief description:

 Schedules & Routines

A master family calendar - school schedules, work schedules, activity schedules; daily routines – morning, afternoon, evening; weekly, monthly, seasonal, annual tasks and housekeeping chores. Basically anything based on time goes here. It is the core of the Panel and will be an active section, in that it will be used and referenced daily.

Goals, Plans & Projects

Long term goals (anything requiring more than a single entry on a task list) and projects large and small will be laid out here. I tend to have a hard time setting specific goals.  I am much better at bigger more general things like I want to go visit Italy but never lining out the steps that will need to happen for me to get there, hopefully this will help with that section.

Family & Inventories

This is kind of a catch-all for general information about other people in your life as well as various databases of property or knowledge. If you were in a bookstore and wanted to know if you’d already purchased #4 of a series, you would check here. A complete home inventory is a good idea for insurance purposes. Keeping track of children’s and spouse’s sizes aid in shopping for clothes, as will an inventory of their existing wardrobe. Also helpful is a list of books or movies that you want to see but haven’t gotten around to. Aren’t we all too likely to forget what it was that so-and-so recommended when we’re actually standing in the video store? An index to household storage is often handy as well. Family medical notes and records would also belong here unless they were extensive for some reason.  Now tis one sounds good but also is one that intimidates me the most.  It sounds like a lot of work but if I can slowly build it up over time and not do it all at once then I should be able master this.

Finances

From your checkbook balance to an investment portfolio to last year’s tax return, everyone has financial records to organize. Monetary goals can also be outlined here, with a savings or debt reduction plan to achieve them. Receipts, warranties, owner manuals should all be kept together and in an accessible manner.

Food Preparation

A portion of my journal will deal with food – recipes, menu plans, pantry and grocery guides, a price book, coupon storage, and anything else to do with food and its storage and preparation in our homes.

Hobbies

Scrapbooks, needlepoint, gardening, music, writing, the list is endless. If there’s something in your life you do for fun, chances are there is something about it you need to plan, organize, or store. I’d probably also put decorating ideas here, but they could also go in Projects or if you’re embarking on a full-scale renovation they could even have their own section.  This would be fun though I don't have a lot of time for hobbies but I do hope to take up sewing and knitting this year.

School, Work, Organizations

This is where we will diverge probably more than in any other section. Some work for an outside company, some work from home, some don’t work (yeah, like this isn’t work! Lol), some go to school, some teach school, some homeschool, some have kids in school, some are members of volunteer or recreational organizations or sit on a board of directors somewhere. If there’s anything you belong to, outside responsibilities you juggle, this is the place to ground it.

Spiritual

Anything I consider spiritual or renewing can be covered here, whether formal prayer logs or musings on nature or anything in between. 

Life unexpected 

It contains sensitive information such as passwords, account numbers, utility and credit information, bank and other account information – more than would be found in the day to day finances. I like to think of it as a place to write down all the things that I normally keep in my head – things *I* don’t have to look up to function daily, but if my husband had to, say, transfer money between accounts he’d have to find. Due to all info in this one I will probably not be keeping it with the rest of the information.

Down Time

Jd decided to take the boys camping this weekend.  They left last night about 7:00pm.  I had a meeting this morning so I cleaned house last night then went to bed.  I thought this afternoon I would go out and do something, instead I find this as the perfect time to do all of those little things that I need to get done around the house.  The last 36 hours have been quite busy with work, with lots of different things going on.  I find that I get more done if the house is in order, so I've decided to take this time to clean the house and make it feel more like a home.  I love taking care of the family and often find things to do for them even when they are not around.

On another note I bought some new canisters today for my kitchen, I have need some new ones for awhile but haven't found what I wanted and so I've just waited knowing that eventually I would find what I wanted.  I am so happy I wanted these are great, they're brushed copper and go perfectly in my Tuscan style kitchen and dining room area.

I might get a good bottle of wine and watch a movie tonight or curl up with a good book.

  I have also been working on writing a Bible Study about the women of the Bible,  I have the first few done, it's a short study but I have enjoyed working on it.

I like being a girl

In this day and age when women are suppose to be strong and manly, I enjoy being a girl.  Now that does not mean I am weak or that I can't handle life on my own.  I do enjoy being a woman though, so I thought I would list some things I like about it.

1.  Having doors opened for me.
2.  Wearing long flowing skirts
3.  Getting mani-pedi's
4.  Laying in my husbands strong arms.
5.  Having more shoes then I know what to do with.
6.  Being a daughter of the King of Kings.
7.  Wearing pink.
8.  Being soft.
9.  Crying at a movie I have seen 10+ times and having him still think it's cute
10.  Taking care of my family.

Just Opened

So after many people telling me I should start a blog, I have finally given in and opened one.  Just a little about myself and what I will share on the blog.  My name is Callie and I am married to a wonderful man J.D. with 3 boys.   We have a very traditional marriage and believe strongly in a male led house.  I have started homeschooling for the first this year.  I work from home in politics and I love what I do.  I want to leave our country a better place for our boys.

I'm not the perfect wife, home maker or mother.  I enjoy what I do and am always looking for ways to improve.
I hope to share just my daily life, as I try to figure out how to follow Christ in all that I do.  I hope here is to be as honest in my successes as I am in my failures.  I want to get to know other women and share our lives together.

I know that there are a lot of women that believe in the power of the Holy Ghost, dressing modestly and the Proverbs 31 woman.  I want this to be a place to share as we all walk the path to Holiness.