Modesty

‎"Modesty is more than just the length of a hemline. It's about our conversations, how we treat people, and how we love others. Modesty protects our purity and the mystery of a person. In our society, it gets a bad rap. It's actually quite attractive." Model - Leah Darrow There is nothing more modest and beautiful than a woman acting like a woman, soft, feminine, frail, loving, kind, graceful, pure, but at the same time strong to the core. I have been thinking about modesty a lot lately and how much deeper it goes then just what we wear.  God highly values the quality of modesty. Women are explicitly commanded to dress and conduct themselves in modest ways (1 Timothy 2:9-10), and this quality should not be lost upon men, either. Unfortunately, the meaning and requirements of modesty have become contentious topics, especially since our society has all but abandoned modesty as a virtue. In fact this day and age we tend to scorn modesty. It has been fashionable among many religious commentators to speak of modesty in terms of standards of clothing. In this perspective, modesty is defined as "that which is not immodest," and the focus is on defining immodest clothing. Yet such a perspective is really putting the cart before the horse. Modesty is not exclusively about clothing-- instead, it is an attitude, a frame of mind, and a form of behavior. Modesty involves having a proper understanding of one's position in life-- someone who does not act arrogantly or presumptuously. In this sense humility and modesty are quite similar and intertwined. Modesty also involves a strong sense of propriety and restraint. Modesty demands moderation in thought and behavior. For all intents and purposes, modesty can be understood as the quality of not attempting to stand out-- someone who is not obtrusive, not demanding attention by their conduct or comportment. When we consider what Paul says in 1 Timothy 2:9-10 (and Peter in 1 Peter 3:3-6), we can see that it is this more comprehensive understanding of modesty that is advocated. The focus of a woman's presentation, according to these Apostles, is not to be only in how they adorn themselves physically.But also, to focus on how on their service to God-- their good works and humble demeanor.  None of this is to say that modesty has nothing to do with clothing-- far from it. But modesty is not equated with a certain level of clothing, for people can be modestly clothed while conducting themselves very  immodestly. As with many elements of Christianity, modesty must be an internal quality that in manifested externally ( Mark 7:14-23, ). The woman (or man) who seeks to be truly modest will consider the clothing they wear and will make sure that it does not draw attention to themselves, either by exposing too much skin or by being overly ornate. They will make sure that it follows what the Bible says about the clothing of a woman ( or man) and not just what the have heard from pastors or Christian leaders. The godly man or woman is not attempting to draw the attention of other people for immoral purposes-- instead, they are trying to humbly serve their God in attitude and action! Modesty, therefore, is quite the challenge for humans. It would be far easier if modesty only involved wearing a certain type of clothing! Instead, if we would be modest, we must not attempt to stand out in any circumstance. We do not go out with the attempt to be noticed for whatever reason, "godly" or otherwise, and we must not think too highly of ourselves ( Matthew 6:1-5, Mark 12:38-40, Galatians 6:1-4). Instead, we go out with the humble attitudes of servants (Luke 17:7-10). We still strive to be godly and to be the lights of the world, but it is not our goal to do so to be noticed (Matthew 5:13-16). We seek the commendation of God, and God only exalts those who humble themselves and serve (Matthew 20:25-28, 23:12). To limit discussions of modesty to how much a particular garment covers the human body is to really miss God's purposes in advocating modesty for Christians. Modesty is about Mindset, attitude, and behavior. When we have developed modesty in our estimation of ourselves and how we conduct ourselves among other people, we will make sure that our clothing appropriately covers our body without excess in ornamentation so as to not draw attention to ourselves (1 Timothy 2:9-10). We will also strive to be modest in how we conduct ourselves among other people, not attempting to draw attention by sanctimonious behavior or in any way putting on a show of righteousness to be seen as righteous ( Matthew 6:1-5). We will go about serving God according to the gifts He has given us, seeking God's glory and not our own (Romans 12:3-8, 1 Peter 4:7-11). We will strive to be meek and gentle as our Lord and Savior (Matthew 11:28-30). In so doing, we will be better known for our character than our appearance, and we will have the prized internal beauty of the humble, modest servants of God. Let us not only dress modestly but conduct ourselves with modesty!   I think the bottom line of it all is that if you have inward modesty and femininity of the heart it will show outwardly. For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. First thing is to pray and ask Godto show and convict you of any immodesty of the heart. The Scriptures calls us to be pure of heart for they shall see God (Matthew 5:8 What do my clothes say about desires? Do they show I am a wholesome or loose woman? The Scriptures tell me my heart is deceitfully wickedly…. Am I following my heart’s intentions when I put on clothes? Do my clothes reflect Scriptural principles spoken of in 1 Timothy 2:9″ Likewise, the women, when they pray, should be dressed modestly and sensibly in respectable attire, not with elaborate hairstyles and gold jewelry, or pearls, or expensive clothes” or do they reflect indoctrination of religion and the culture I live in? Do my clothes reflect rebellion of the heart? Am I set apart from the world in my choice of clothes or do I relate with the crowd? Does my appearance reveal a zeal to seek and please God or do they reveal that God and his standards comes after my comfort and lifestyle? If I were standing in a crowd of worldly people would I feel embarrassed because I am dressing femininely modest? If I were standing in a crowd of worldly people would I stand out or blend in? These questions here also helped me with looking at my intentions in wearing jewlrey and make up and help me decide that they were not for me. The following questions are about  clothes directly.     When I bend down or over does can anyone see right down my shirt? Can I use a safety pin on the inside? Should I have a cami underneath? Or is it indecent for anyone and should be thrown out all together? If I wear a button-up shirt can you see anything from the side in between the buttons? Is it too tight that I need to throw it out? If I put on a spaghetti-strap, tanktop, halter, or sheer blouse can I…. Uh, nothing can help with this. Throw out the halter and sheer blouse. Most of the time you should be able to wear the sleeveless shirts as undershirts but should not be worn by themselves as they expose too much skin. Can I see the lining of my bra through my shirt or by my collar? Can I see any part of my midriff when I raise my hands or bend over? Can you see any part of my cleavage, bending or not? Is my shirt just plain too tight? Does it tuck under or hug my bust? Do the buttons on the front scrunch to give the affect of a tight shirt around my bust? I try to remember  My shirts should be tight enough to show you’re a woman, but loose enough to show you're a lady Does my midriff show when I move or bend over? Can I find a longer undershirt to wear? No one can help to look when either your backside or underwear shows when you bend over. Don't embarrass yourself by wearing something that you may forget to “watch”. Does my skirt fit too low on my waist and is causing my shirts to expose my skin? Can I see my underwear lines through my skirt? Does it draw attention to my backside? Is my skirt too short? When I sit can someone see above my knees? That is too much skin. Change into something longer. You may be able to add a ruffle or another layer to that skirt later if its appropriate. Always remember to cross one leg under the other if you're a lady. Always make sure to wear a slip. This will prevent anyone from seeing through your skirt, helps keep your skirt from flyways, protects you if you have any, and is useful in other ways. I actually don't wear a slip with my longer denim and corduroy skirts. Is my skirt too flamboyant? Does it jingle, sway, or draw too much attention to me? The Scriptures says to be shamefaced (overly modest and shy) as to not draw attention to ourselves in such a way. When we draw attention to ourselves it should be Jesus light and example.  Personally I don’t swim often swim in public  and when I do I wear a skirt with shorts underneath and a tshirt. When you buy or put on a swimsuit make sure that you do the modesty check above. Make sure it doesn’t go above the knees, isn’t too tight, and doesn’t reveal any flesh. If you’re truly concerned about modesty it shouldn’t just be for clothes, but swimsuits, pajamas, exercise clothes, etc. You shouldn’t have double standards for these items. Before I started reading the Scriptures and finding answers there I couldn't understand why people would worry about clothing I thought they were just being legalistic and old fashioned.  I was not concerned with displaying displaying modesty and femininity outwardly and had bought into the feministic lie that if a man had lustful thoughts about me that was his heart issue not mine.  It truly is freeing when you let go and let God be in charge of you life. You won’t be ashamed of who you are and he will shine through you. Below are some links that I use: http://www.movingtowardmodesty.com/Principles.html http://www.achristianhome.org/ModestFeminine/ModestyFeminineAttireIndex.htm http://www.psychoheresy-aware.org/modesty_ignored.html http://www.momof9splace.com/modesty.html http://www.dressingforhisglory.com/store/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=58_82_59

Mourning Routines

I wanted to talk this morning about morning routines.  I think a lot of women overlook the importance of a morning routine, I know I did for many years.  I also believe that a lot of women believe that a morning routine would help them but have no idea what one should look like or how to set one up.  I know I tried many different systems over the years including fly lady and others but none seem to fit my family. There is no one perfect routine that will fit every woman and every family, so what I want to do is to show you the steps I took to figure out what mine looked like.

1. I looked at what I was currently doing in the morning and what I wanted my mornings to look like.  When I first started this I found I was sleeping in and not getting out of bed until 8 or so, when the boys were in public school I wake up take them to school and climb right back into bed.  When I did get out of bed I always felt guilty and like I was wasting my day.

So what I saw was that I wanted to get up earlier in the day, I wanted to read my Bible and pray before the boys or JD woke up.  I also wanted to have coffee ready and either the news of music playing softly when JD and the boys woke up.  I love to have some sort of praise music playing in my house most of the day I once heard a Pastor speak on Psalms 22:3 "O' Thou that inhabits the praises of Israel."   He talked about how we have been grafted into the nation of Israel, into God's chosen people and that he inhabits our praise.  One of the things that struck me was the idea of surrounding your self with praise music because people tend to sing a long with whatever music is playing and I loved the idea of His Presence in my home all day. ( Sorry for the rabbit trail.)

2. Once you have seen the things that you want changed write them down and talk to your husband and children about them (you're more likely stick with it if someone else knows). For me it meant setting my alarm for 6 and getting out of bed no matter how tired I was.  I wouldn't even turn on the computer but instead would hit the coffee button wash my face, brush my teeth, get a cup of coffee and go sit on the couch with my Bible, a pen  and a notebook.

3. Start small don't worry about making every change right away and don't worry if you mess it up one day because God's mercy are new every morning ( one of my life verses because boy do I need it).

4. After doing this for a week step back and look at it.  Is it working?  What things do you need to change? What things do you want to add?. 

5. Do as much as you can before you go to bed.  If I wake up in the morning to a cluttered house with dishes in the sink and floors that need swept, I tend to start feeling overwhelmed and have a harder time getting things accomplished that day. So my morning routine actually starts the night before.

 

These are the 5 things that I find most important to my routine, now I know that I did not line out my routine for you but I am going to do that below, as with everything else I do in life it is a bit unconventional and doesn't line up with what most organizing experts say but it works for me.

Before bed: prepare coffee, tidy house ( make sure kitchen, bathroom and living room are tidy, make sure table is cleared off), set Bible, pen, notebook and any Bible study I am doing on table.

6:00; Wake up, start coffee, wash face, brush teeth talk to God and start music.

7:00 Make sure boys are waking up, help with breakfast, check email's. I also will quite often start a load of laundry here.

8:00 Breakfast is done the boys and I set at the table and go over our family verse, do a short Bible study and pray together.  We also talk about the day ( any appointments,school projects or plans).

8:30 Start school I help them as much as I can with Titus needing more help then the others.

9:00 I exercise and then take a shower and get dressed.

Now all times are approximate but I don't get dressed right away.  I don't like exercising first thing in the morning and don't like to shower and get dressed before I exercise.

  

Remember there are no wrong routines, just ones that work for you!

Family Bible Verses

I have been looking for ways to help my family plug the Word of God into our every day life.  I want the boys especially to see how it can apply to everything that we do.  So I have created a list of Bible verses whenever someone is having an issues with something we go to the list and find a verse that applies then they write it out on a note card and carry it around with them.  This helps with the memorization of the verse.  We've just started so I am not sure of the effect it will have on the family but I will keep you posted.  Below is the list of verses we are using.

FAMILY BIBLE VERSES


ACCUSINGDo not accuse a man for no reason, when he has done you no harm (Pr. 3:30).
ANGER A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control (Pr. 29:11).

Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret it leads only to the evil (Ps. 37:8).
A quick-tempered man does foolish things, and a crafty man is hated ( Pr.14:17).
Do not hate your brother in your heart. (Lev. 19:17-18).

In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. (Ps.4:4).
ARGUING AND FIGHTINGA gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Pr. 15:1).
A hot tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel (Pr. 15:18).
When a man's ways are pleasing to the Lord, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him (Pr. 16:7).

Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.

(Pr. 17:14).
It is to a man's honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel (Pr. 20:3)
Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful (2 Tim. 2:23-24).
All of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble (1 Pet. 3:6).
BAD COMPANYHe who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm (Pr. 13:20).

Do not be deceived: Bad company ruins good morals. (1Corithians 15:33)

My son, if sinners entice you, do not give in to them (Pr. 1:10).
BAD LANGUAGEPut away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips (Pr. 4:24).
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (Eph. 4:31).

Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. (Eph 5:4)

You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain. (Exodus 20:7)

It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.”(Matt 15:11)

If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless. (James1:26)

BITTER SPIRITLet all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.( Eph 4:31-32)

BOASTFULNESSLet another praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else, and not your own lips

(Pr. 27:2).
COMPLAINING Do everything without complaining or arguing (Ph. 2:14).
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. (Eph 4:29)

DECEITFULNESSThe man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out (Pr.10:9).
The noble man makes noble plans, and by noble deeds he stands (Is. 32:8).
Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to who we must give account (Heb. 4:13).

There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers . (Pr. 6:16-19)

Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator

(Col 3:19-20)

Lying lips are an abomination to theLord, but those who act faithfully are his delight (Pr.12:22)
DISCONTENTFor the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs (1 Tim. 6: 6-10).

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Ps 37:4).
DISOBEDIENCE TO PARENTSHonor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you (Ex. 20:12).
Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck (Pr. 1:8-9).
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother"which is the first commandment with a promise "that it may go well with your and that you may enjoy long life on the earth (Eph. 6:1-3).
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord (Col. 3:20).

DISORDERLINESSBut everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way (1 Cor. 14:40).

For God is a God, not of disorder, but of peace. (1 Cor. 14:33).

DISRESPECTBe devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves

(Rom. 12:10).
Show proper respect to everyone; Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king ( 1 Pet. 2:17).

Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. (Rom 12:10)

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. (Phil 2:3)
FOOLISHNESSThe fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline (Pr. 1:7).
As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly (Pr. 26:11).

A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion. (Pr 18:2)

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.

( Pr 1:7)


HATEHatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs (Pr. 10:12).
Whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him (1 Jn. 2:11).
If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, how he has not seen (1 Jn. 4:20).

IGNORING ADVICEThe way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice (Pr. 12:14).
He who ignores discipline comes to poverty and shame, but whoever heeds correction is honored (Pr. 13:180.

He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding (Pr. 15:32).
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it (Heb. 12:11).


SELFISHNESSA generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed (Pr. 11:25).
An unfriendly man pursues selfish ends; he defies all sound judgment (Pr. 18:1).
A stingy man is eager to get rich and is unaware that poverty awaits him (Pr. 28:22).
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others (Ph. 2:3-4).
And do not forget to do good and to share with other, for with such sacrifices God is pleased (Heb. 13:16).
TATTLING AND NAME CALLINGWhoever spreads slander is a fool (Pr. 10:18b).
He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends (Pr. 17:9).
Without wood a fire goes out, without gossip a quarrel dies down (Pr. 26:20).
UNCONTROLLED TONGUEHe who guards his lips guards his soul, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin (Pr. 13:3).
A fool's talk brings a rod to his back, but the lips of the wise protect them (Pr.14:3).
He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity (Pr. 21:23).
But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken (Mt. 12:36).
Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech (1 Pet. 3:10).
UNFORGIVING SPIRITBear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you (Col. 3:13).
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Eph. 4:32).
UNGRATEFULNESSGive thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever (Ps. 118:1).
Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Th. 5:18).
UNKINDNESSA kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings himself harm (Pr. 11:17).
Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs (1 Cor. 13:4-5).
As God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience (Cor. 3:12).

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Eph 4:32)

A man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself. (PR 11:17
IMPATIENCEThe end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride (Ec. 7:8).
The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Gal. 5:22-23a).
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love (Eph. 4:2).

LAZINESSLazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth (Pr. 10:4).
The sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied

(Pr. 13:4).
One who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys (Pr. 18:9).
It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young (Lam. 3:27).

For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. (2 Thess 3:10)

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, (Col3:23)

LOVE

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1cor.13:4-7)
LYINGWhoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies (Ps. 23:12-13).
The Lord detests lying lips but delights in men who are truthful (Pr. 12:22).
PRIDEThe Lord mocks proud mockers, but gives graces to the humble (Pr. 3:34).
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom (Pr. 11:2).
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall (Pr. 16:18).
Before his downfall a man's heart is proud, but humility comes before honor (Pr. 18:12).
RETALIATIONA fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult (Pr. 12:16).
A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense (Pr. 19:11).
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (Rom. 12:17-18).
Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else (1 Th. 5:15).
Do not repay even with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing (1 Pet. 3:9).
REFUSING COMMANDSThe wise in heart accept commands, but a chattering fool comes to ruin (Pr. 10:8).
He who scorns instruction will pay for it, but he who respects a command is rewarded

(Pr. 13:13).

REFUSING CORRECTIONMy son, do not despise the Lord's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves as a father the son he delight in (Pr. 3:11-12).
Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning (Pr. 9:9).
He who heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads other astray (Pr. 10:17).
Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he how hates correction is stupid (Pr. 12:1).