Looking Back

The last 2 years have been very difficult on out family.  We have had some very high ups and some very very low lows.  Yet, as I've spent the last week looking back over them I can't help but to have seen some tremendous growth.  I'm more sure of who I am now then I have ever been in the past.  I no longer feel then need to fit someone else's vision for my life.  Truth be told my life doesn't even fit my vision for my life! It's not quite there yet but my life is on it's way to fitting God's vision for my life.  And that has made all the difference.  If you would have told me 5 years ago that I was going to be a stay at home mom who was home schooling, learning to sew and knit and was perfectly content, I would have laughed at you.  It's true though, I am happy with what I am doing.  I am working hard at finding ways to help us live frugal so that I can continue in this.

I know what kind of family I want to have.  I know how important my children are to me and that raising them is my number 1 goal in life for right now.  I know that I want to be actively involved in the raising of them, I want to raise up godly young men who know how to be responsible and take care of their families, that know how to love theirs wives and children but above all of that my goal is to raise up men who know how to, love, worship and serve God.

The past 2 years have also taught me a lot about studying God's word and seeing what it has to say for myself.  I never thought I would be one of those Pentecostal women who believed in dresses only and not cutting your hair or wearing jewelry but again here I am!  Happy and more free then I have ever been before. I have learned that being a Christian is not about rules or judging but about a personal relationship (something I had never understood before) .  It's not about how I am feeling but about worshiping anyways!  It's not about how other people see me but about how the one who created me sees me!

I am looking forward to 2011 knowing that with the Lord on my side though it may not always be easy it will always be fruitful!