Raising boys

I am the mother of three boys ages 14, 11 and 8 who I love deeply.  We are moving into this new phase of life where they are trying to break away from me, they are trying to learn to become men.  I have been thinking and praying a lot about this lately.  One of the reasons for that is that it seems like I am always bumping heads with the oldest.  This has got me thinking, as a mom how do I guide him into manhood.  His dad is huge in his life and I have no doubt will be the biggest influence going forward but yet I am not willing to be regulated to the back burner, to insignificance.

So where's my role, what do I do now?  I know that I don't have any great answers but I do know that prayer will be one of the most important things I need to be doing now.  So things I am praying for myself:  Wisdom, patience, the ability to let go and knowledge.  Things I am praying for him: Wisdom, patience, knowledge, his future wife, clarity of mind and a learning spirit.

It  seems to me that some times I have no clue what to do next with him but when I feel that way The Holy Ghost will often remind me that just loving him is the best thing I can do.

Mourning Routines

I wanted to talk this morning about morning routines.  I think a lot of women overlook the importance of a morning routine, I know I did for many years.  I also believe that a lot of women believe that a morning routine would help them but have no idea what one should look like or how to set one up.  I know I tried many different systems over the years including fly lady and others but none seem to fit my family. There is no one perfect routine that will fit every woman and every family, so what I want to do is to show you the steps I took to figure out what mine looked like.

1. I looked at what I was currently doing in the morning and what I wanted my mornings to look like.  When I first started this I found I was sleeping in and not getting out of bed until 8 or so, when the boys were in public school I wake up take them to school and climb right back into bed.  When I did get out of bed I always felt guilty and like I was wasting my day.

So what I saw was that I wanted to get up earlier in the day, I wanted to read my Bible and pray before the boys or JD woke up.  I also wanted to have coffee ready and either the news of music playing softly when JD and the boys woke up.  I love to have some sort of praise music playing in my house most of the day I once heard a Pastor speak on Psalms 22:3 "O' Thou that inhabits the praises of Israel."   He talked about how we have been grafted into the nation of Israel, into God's chosen people and that he inhabits our praise.  One of the things that struck me was the idea of surrounding your self with praise music because people tend to sing a long with whatever music is playing and I loved the idea of His Presence in my home all day. ( Sorry for the rabbit trail.)

2. Once you have seen the things that you want changed write them down and talk to your husband and children about them (you're more likely stick with it if someone else knows). For me it meant setting my alarm for 6 and getting out of bed no matter how tired I was.  I wouldn't even turn on the computer but instead would hit the coffee button wash my face, brush my teeth, get a cup of coffee and go sit on the couch with my Bible, a pen  and a notebook.

3. Start small don't worry about making every change right away and don't worry if you mess it up one day because God's mercy are new every morning ( one of my life verses because boy do I need it).

4. After doing this for a week step back and look at it.  Is it working?  What things do you need to change? What things do you want to add?. 

5. Do as much as you can before you go to bed.  If I wake up in the morning to a cluttered house with dishes in the sink and floors that need swept, I tend to start feeling overwhelmed and have a harder time getting things accomplished that day. So my morning routine actually starts the night before.

 

These are the 5 things that I find most important to my routine, now I know that I did not line out my routine for you but I am going to do that below, as with everything else I do in life it is a bit unconventional and doesn't line up with what most organizing experts say but it works for me.

Before bed: prepare coffee, tidy house ( make sure kitchen, bathroom and living room are tidy, make sure table is cleared off), set Bible, pen, notebook and any Bible study I am doing on table.

6:00; Wake up, start coffee, wash face, brush teeth talk to God and start music.

7:00 Make sure boys are waking up, help with breakfast, check email's. I also will quite often start a load of laundry here.

8:00 Breakfast is done the boys and I set at the table and go over our family verse, do a short Bible study and pray together.  We also talk about the day ( any appointments,school projects or plans).

8:30 Start school I help them as much as I can with Titus needing more help then the others.

9:00 I exercise and then take a shower and get dressed.

Now all times are approximate but I don't get dressed right away.  I don't like exercising first thing in the morning and don't like to shower and get dressed before I exercise.

  

Remember there are no wrong routines, just ones that work for you!

Family Bible Verses

I have been looking for ways to help my family plug the Word of God into our every day life.  I want the boys especially to see how it can apply to everything that we do.  So I have created a list of Bible verses whenever someone is having an issues with something we go to the list and find a verse that applies then they write it out on a note card and carry it around with them.  This helps with the memorization of the verse.  We've just started so I am not sure of the effect it will have on the family but I will keep you posted.  Below is the list of verses we are using.

FAMILY BIBLE VERSES


ACCUSINGDo not accuse a man for no reason, when he has done you no harm (Pr. 3:30).
ANGER A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control (Pr. 29:11).

Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret it leads only to the evil (Ps. 37:8).
A quick-tempered man does foolish things, and a crafty man is hated ( Pr.14:17).
Do not hate your brother in your heart. (Lev. 19:17-18).

In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. (Ps.4:4).
ARGUING AND FIGHTINGA gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Pr. 15:1).
A hot tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel (Pr. 15:18).
When a man's ways are pleasing to the Lord, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him (Pr. 16:7).

Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.

(Pr. 17:14).
It is to a man's honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel (Pr. 20:3)
Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful (2 Tim. 2:23-24).
All of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble (1 Pet. 3:6).
BAD COMPANYHe who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm (Pr. 13:20).

Do not be deceived: Bad company ruins good morals. (1Corithians 15:33)

My son, if sinners entice you, do not give in to them (Pr. 1:10).
BAD LANGUAGEPut away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips (Pr. 4:24).
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (Eph. 4:31).

Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. (Eph 5:4)

You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain. (Exodus 20:7)

It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.”(Matt 15:11)

If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless. (James1:26)

BITTER SPIRITLet all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.( Eph 4:31-32)

BOASTFULNESSLet another praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else, and not your own lips

(Pr. 27:2).
COMPLAINING Do everything without complaining or arguing (Ph. 2:14).
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. (Eph 4:29)

DECEITFULNESSThe man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out (Pr.10:9).
The noble man makes noble plans, and by noble deeds he stands (Is. 32:8).
Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to who we must give account (Heb. 4:13).

There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers . (Pr. 6:16-19)

Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator

(Col 3:19-20)

Lying lips are an abomination to theLord, but those who act faithfully are his delight (Pr.12:22)
DISCONTENTFor the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs (1 Tim. 6: 6-10).

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Ps 37:4).
DISOBEDIENCE TO PARENTSHonor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you (Ex. 20:12).
Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck (Pr. 1:8-9).
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother"which is the first commandment with a promise "that it may go well with your and that you may enjoy long life on the earth (Eph. 6:1-3).
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord (Col. 3:20).

DISORDERLINESSBut everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way (1 Cor. 14:40).

For God is a God, not of disorder, but of peace. (1 Cor. 14:33).

DISRESPECTBe devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves

(Rom. 12:10).
Show proper respect to everyone; Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king ( 1 Pet. 2:17).

Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. (Rom 12:10)

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. (Phil 2:3)
FOOLISHNESSThe fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline (Pr. 1:7).
As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly (Pr. 26:11).

A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion. (Pr 18:2)

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.

( Pr 1:7)


HATEHatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs (Pr. 10:12).
Whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him (1 Jn. 2:11).
If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, how he has not seen (1 Jn. 4:20).

IGNORING ADVICEThe way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice (Pr. 12:14).
He who ignores discipline comes to poverty and shame, but whoever heeds correction is honored (Pr. 13:180.

He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding (Pr. 15:32).
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it (Heb. 12:11).


SELFISHNESSA generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed (Pr. 11:25).
An unfriendly man pursues selfish ends; he defies all sound judgment (Pr. 18:1).
A stingy man is eager to get rich and is unaware that poverty awaits him (Pr. 28:22).
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others (Ph. 2:3-4).
And do not forget to do good and to share with other, for with such sacrifices God is pleased (Heb. 13:16).
TATTLING AND NAME CALLINGWhoever spreads slander is a fool (Pr. 10:18b).
He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends (Pr. 17:9).
Without wood a fire goes out, without gossip a quarrel dies down (Pr. 26:20).
UNCONTROLLED TONGUEHe who guards his lips guards his soul, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin (Pr. 13:3).
A fool's talk brings a rod to his back, but the lips of the wise protect them (Pr.14:3).
He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity (Pr. 21:23).
But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken (Mt. 12:36).
Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech (1 Pet. 3:10).
UNFORGIVING SPIRITBear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you (Col. 3:13).
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Eph. 4:32).
UNGRATEFULNESSGive thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever (Ps. 118:1).
Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Th. 5:18).
UNKINDNESSA kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings himself harm (Pr. 11:17).
Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs (1 Cor. 13:4-5).
As God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience (Cor. 3:12).

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Eph 4:32)

A man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself. (PR 11:17
IMPATIENCEThe end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride (Ec. 7:8).
The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Gal. 5:22-23a).
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love (Eph. 4:2).

LAZINESSLazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth (Pr. 10:4).
The sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied

(Pr. 13:4).
One who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys (Pr. 18:9).
It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young (Lam. 3:27).

For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. (2 Thess 3:10)

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, (Col3:23)

LOVE

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1cor.13:4-7)
LYINGWhoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies (Ps. 23:12-13).
The Lord detests lying lips but delights in men who are truthful (Pr. 12:22).
PRIDEThe Lord mocks proud mockers, but gives graces to the humble (Pr. 3:34).
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom (Pr. 11:2).
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall (Pr. 16:18).
Before his downfall a man's heart is proud, but humility comes before honor (Pr. 18:12).
RETALIATIONA fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult (Pr. 12:16).
A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense (Pr. 19:11).
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (Rom. 12:17-18).
Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else (1 Th. 5:15).
Do not repay even with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing (1 Pet. 3:9).
REFUSING COMMANDSThe wise in heart accept commands, but a chattering fool comes to ruin (Pr. 10:8).
He who scorns instruction will pay for it, but he who respects a command is rewarded

(Pr. 13:13).

REFUSING CORRECTIONMy son, do not despise the Lord's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves as a father the son he delight in (Pr. 3:11-12).
Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning (Pr. 9:9).
He who heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads other astray (Pr. 10:17).
Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he how hates correction is stupid (Pr. 12:1).

Kids Home school notebook

I had said I would post a little about the boys notebook.

So here is the cover for the Notebook.

Here is their responsibility chart.  

They have to have everything initialed every day before they can earn screen time.

This is their daily lesson log.

Here they record for me each day what we have worked on in school.

Next are their reading logs.  They write down what they are reading and how long they have read for.

These next two sheets are how we keep track of how much time they are spending on T.V.  

For every hour that they read they earn one hour of screen time.  We also allow them to earn screen time for chores, helping out, being kind etc... When we want to add time we can use the second sheet to write down how much time they have earned and how they earned it.  We also use it to track if they have lost time.  When they want to redeem time they bring their notebooks to us and we write it down in the columns for them.